flashbacks ;sweetmisery

Thursday, June 30, 2005

im hurting all over ; mentally

okaes.
im done editing my blogskin.
darn. cbox's down. i cant change the bloody color.
sighs.
thanks yuenchen for the book 'soul lurfe'.
wondering why you lend it to me all of a sudden.
hahas. but its a great book (:
ahh. at least reading and blogskin making takes my mind off things :D
thanks all the darlings for trying to cheer me up.
i lurfe all ya loads (:
and im also trying to feel better too.
thanks all ya again. huggs :D

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6/30/2005 09:22:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

" theres one thing about growing up that adults dunch tell you - dealing with the sort of pain that cant be kissed away."
its another depressing day for me. i feel so listless. and i lost my appetite suddenly during recess. and i was hungry just before that. if only hes not so ke ai, i will say. yeaa. mayb its just a habit to go crazy over him and stuffs, but i do like him. at least a teeny bit, besides habit. cos only when i like someone will that someone makes me feel awkward and unsure of myself. heck. i cant do much except to persuade myself hes not worth it. theres bball tmr :D finally. ive been looking forward to it, cos i needed it to vent all my frustrations out. im angry with myself. im getting all so vulgarised and short tempered. i dunno what the hell is wrong with me. i shall change. i shall try :l

6/30/2005 07:22:00 PM

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

fine.
ive changed my blogskin. my trademark plain ones (:
color scheme-red and black.
mayb i will change the colors once my mood gets better.
posted some new hillsong de songs.
nice. but im wondering why i cant play em on my blog.
argh. shall try again ltr on.
sihao and eugene ng is making me confused.
i dunno what they are up to. sighs. and now eugene's not replying.
making blogskins take my mind off things.
thanks shimin anyway for e song (:

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6/29/2005 09:58:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

its aint my day today. im depressed. for god knows whatever reason. im not feeling well, and yeaa. im very tired. exhausted, mentally. i want someone to hug tightly, and talk about raging hormones (roll eyes), i feel like crying. i dunno what the fuck is wrong. but im getting uber vulgared and i feel like shat. its been kinda hell since school reopen. sigh. i wanna get back to how i was. im beginning to tnk pac is nice (: i guess thats the only great thing that happened to me today. umms. ms cheong is great larhs. hahas. and i was so depressed even after school that i ended up not going to sherry's hse after sch to do the ppw. phebe had dirrahoa. so she didnt go too. we're real sorry. anyway, performance was not great for me today. cos for dunno whatever reason, i was actually shaking. imagine that. ive never really been afraid at any choir performance. and yet, i was shaking. mayb it was because of him. i dunno. sighh.. i dont feel natural, or shld i say i dunno how to be natural when im like, in full view of him. oh fuck. what the hell am i talking about. some thoughts sound stupid when they are spoken out loud. thats why. anyway, we went buddy hoagies after school. i needed something to cheer me up. and yea. its really amazing how buddies can light up the darkest period of your life (argh. hormones..) was real stoned at first. but i kinda lighten up after a while, and yeaa. i went totally crazy with kailing and shimin. felt happier (: but yeaa. reality check ): my life dunch really rock right now. tnk i will just have to try to look on the bright side of life. dunch be surprised if i burst out crying suddenly cos im seriously very tired (plus a case of bloody teenager hormones) rwahs. i miss him like crazy. arghh. but im really really tired.. i guess no one can help me. help shut my thoughts up. please ):

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6/29/2005 07:33:00 PM

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

yayness! (:
i finally fnd the code to move my bloggings to the left.
added a few rock songs in.
listen to i 'just wanna live'. its nice(:
my chemical romance really rock, yeaa.
considering to buy their new cd - three cheers for sweet revenge
but, aww. guess not. beta save up my money.
im thinking too much, i tnk. sighs.
i need help.
nah. no one can help.

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6/28/2005 09:21:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

yayness. alot like lurfe is a great movie. humourous and uber sweet, unlike monster-in-law. hahs. had a really long day today. and guess what. we had a change in the pac teacher x) to some old flatchested hag call miss cheong(i tnk so larhs). yeaa. she has a funny dressing style man. but i tnk she can be quite cool lurhs (: her english darn slang. HAHA. got stayed back by mrs soh. eugene ng was kinda attitude today, but i guess cant fully blame him. rwahs. anyway im helping yusong with the finger food for the fun fair. haha. when mrs soh asked for someone to help him, i was the first one to volunteer cos i tnk wunch hab to do much things as everything will be catered :D aww.. im lazy (: and i just fnd out ive got a new sister in law! HAHAS (: chapel hr performance tmr. yepps. ummms.. im still obsessed :l

6/28/2005 07:54:00 PM

Monday, June 27, 2005

since you've benn gone;

yayness. im fine now.
umms. or should i say im finer now. rwahhs (:
damn. i sure hate my sista's nagginess.
and my bro's and my mum's and so on.
blah. who wld lurfe em anyway.( i mean nagging)
i tnk im gonna start stoning real lot soon.
get ready guys.(as if i haven been stoning loads.)
hahhs. im bored. i cant access the geog mapreading page.
boredom :l

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6/27/2005 09:13:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

sigh. im so screwed right now. i dunno whats up with me, serious. today's not really my day. if i really had been very obvious just now (i could have died), someone throw me in a pit and bury me, please. im gonna control, and i shant get over-excited over him again. IM SERIOUS! argh. fuck it. i hate the way i am now. like, when i chat with shimin, i just keep on bringing him up, no matter what the subject is :l ummms. thats sick right. i feel abit like im aa. geddit. but im not. i cant help it. yeaa. now my sista's being spiteful towards me. i dunno whats her problem. but, heck. who cares what she thinks. its her prob if she dont believe ive got some dumb geog which i needa do using the comp like, now. HAHA (: im gonna keep control, starting from tomorrow. at least, im gonna try. argh. fuck. its seriously aint how im supposed to spend my life right now. a lot like lurfe tomorrow :D life can rock for a while though ur life might suck that day. twograce'o4 baobeiis are still the best people in phs, ever :D
eugeneng >>jiayouus! (:
i wanna stuck that earphones in my ear, blast LP songs loudly away, and just drown every single thoughts out. please.
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6/27/2005 07:58:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

HELLO (: im in the comp lab right now on the first day of the new semester of school and blah blah blah. this is my second time blogging cos the bloody comp was darn darn lag. anyway, im supposed to redo my research again. and i dunno how many times ive redone it. sighs. and the timetable changed. oh my gawd. that was what i was NOT hoping for. managed to catch two glimpses of him today (: argh. im not supposed to be happy over that. but who cares larhs. at least ive let go one big half(direct translation) hahhs. okaes. guess i will blog later on. ciao.

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6/27/2005 12:09:00 PM

Sunday, June 26, 2005

talk about false hopes :l

oh my gawd. im finally able to blog (: i got home too late yesterday to be able to log in and my dumb bro had been hogging the comp frm morning, and so i was not able to use it. irritant. anyway, i went tanning with kailing yesterday. we had breakfast at harbourfrnt mall's mac first, and when we came out, it was raining. how great was that? we shopped around the mall for a while until the rain stopped. moved on to sentosa. and there were like, loads of people. bah. i guess everyone had the same idea as us- have fun before school reopen. we went to palawan beach and we crossed the bridge to the other side. there was NO sun. but yeaa. the wind was blowing all those dark clouds away. so when a teeny weeny bit of the sun came out, we started stripping and apllying tanning oil (: but, argh. we didnt really get tanned. guess the sun wasnt strong enough. i tnk it wasnt our day. cos the sun shined very brightly when we were leaving. what the fuck right. HAHA. went town next. we took neos and i had my mrs field's triple fudge brownie. after that kailing met up with baoyun to go watch initial d and i made my way to my ah mah's house myself. and i was so afraid that i would get lost cos ive never went there by taking a train. yepp. so i took the train to hougang. and luckily, i managed to find my way through :D and it was boring there. was glad when my dad finally came and fetch us all to my cousin's bbq (: it was boring there at first, cos all my other cousins had arrived and were at a playgrnd kinda distant. so i sat there, had some meefen. and there were like, loads of babies. and they are all my cousins (: talk abt reproducing the next generation. anyway, saw jovan :D hes like, cute!! and since hes a premature baby, he hada wear specs. at his age of one plus too! felt kinda sorry for him, but yea. he looked darn cute :D my kiddy cousins finally came back frm the playgrnd. HAHA. and we played badminton (: my brother is a big sore loser. HAHA. went home at arnd 11pm. yupps. was fun larhs, cos it wasnt as boring as i thought it wld be. hhahs. no shuai ge there, lol. but, expected larhs. lol.
and school's reopening tomorrow! (: i havent done a single homework. so fun (: bt who cares larhs. yupp. so i shall end here. yupps.

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6/26/2005 04:21:00 PM

Friday, June 24, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hello. im like, freaking pissed at my bro cos hes frigging irritating. bah. anyway i had quite a normal day today. duh. met the girls out for chicken rice lunch (tho i never eat) and we went to school for choir after that (: and guess what. they were filming i not stupid too in threegrace classroom. aint that just so cool? :D oh. but that joshua, hes like, zhuai kia. i dont really like his attitude. but think of it again.. i dunno him. so mayb hes not that bad. rwahs. i dont give a damn larhs. practice was great today cos i didnt feel like falling asleep and i was hyper (: HAHA. and yeaa. i tnk the songs are great. cheers. and whats greater is that we dont have to wear the fugly choir gown when we're singing in chapel next wk :D after choir, we went outta the school and we decided to watch alot like lurfe (since it was still kinda early), and we borrowed the newspaper from the nice evergreen icecream uncle. alas, all the shows were to start kinda late. so we forgo the movie and had an icecream instead. how nice (: mint ice rocks. HAHA. went khatib macs with shimin next and chatted lots. went home after that. whee (: tanning tomorrow. hahs. am looking soo forward to it :D

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6/24/2005 07:26:00 PM

Thursday, June 23, 2005

! guys are just guys (:

im back again. so soon. i noe (: i wanna edit my blogskin again and im so not screwing it up again. im happy. cos ive found a better webby which provide songs html. and this webby is much much much better than iwebtunes cos i can find the song easier by typing the name in :D and i betcha theres no viruses or whatever for this webby. ohh. i sound like some promoter. HAHA. but really. im glad i found it. iwebtunes was sorta laggy and the window kept closing by itself. so yea. great that ive found this webby. YAYNESS (: anyway, ive uploaded loads of new songs, including madagascar's i like to move it. enjoy (:

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6/23/2005 09:15:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

rwahhs. im eating and eating non-stop. im gonna get fat. oh shat. though im like, underweight, i dont really wanna gain weight. and im like eating and eating and eating xD anyway, ive been spending today like a bookworm. reading book after book. had intended to do my maths, but once i got sitted down, i lose total interest. thats me :D arghh. i hate that new nickname that bian tai de gimme lurhs. its even worse than xiao hu zi. ARGH. si bian tai de. hmphh.
anyway. theres choir tomorrow (: speaking of choir, lim han is soo f up. OH MY GAWD. you wldnt believe it. he actually friggingly believe that hes gonna be on the team to organise choir camp next yr. that was what kailing told me. SPASTIC. bah. hes like, irritating and, errps. okaes. mayb hes gonna be in the team. then the twograce girls would just be outta the team, i guess. HAHA. im mean :D guess i will just end here. im having lunch tomorrow with the girls ((:

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6/23/2005 08:18:00 PM

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

HI. im back from camp! (: had a really great time there (partly cos it was all play there. HAHA), though it was not really as good as the hpt camp. but im satisfied. hahs. erms. but kinda alot of the games are like, similar to the hpt camp's activities but oh well, they're still uber fun (: it my group consisted of ME (: char tricia sheryl nicholas siyang david phebe and hannah and we named ouself SHITOU and we really roooock :D first day was not bad bah. started out with choir practice and we had the lil kiddies from anderson primary and mayflower primary. they were soooo cute! we played games with em, and there was that game where we blindfolded all the kids and lead em arnd. yea. we played that during hpt fun camp, just that ours was a whole lot difficult. we helped to lead em around and we made their imaginations run wild by telling em we were crossing through a jungle when we were only passing through bushes, and they believed (: we sang rainbow connection for em and they presented their dunno what candle (or kettle..) song for us when they were leaving. aww.. they have really angelic voices :D anyway, while we were having our dinner, me and shimin went to wash our hands and we saw xiuanpin at the water cooler. then he said something about pigs to me and shimin and he walked away laughing. then me and shimin realised the water cooler was still flowing. LOL. xiuapin spoilt the water cooler. then anadee and tricia they all came and we walked to the basketball court, meaning to tell xiuapin to go mend the water cooler. but they were having debrief, so none of us dared to walk over. cheyenne came over and we decided to go back lurhs. budden before we went back, we shouted very loudly together, ' xiuanpin spoilt the water cooler!' at first none of em heard it, then we shouted louder for the second time, and we heard the whole bball team going 'ohh.....!!!' LOL. was darn funny man. i just cant stand the way a couple who should be together are not together. so i just kept on helping anadee cos i know how she feels. HAHA (: we were like, laughing all the way. lol. we had our night walk cum amazing race1 that night, and it was rather lame. we were grouped in twos and we had to go find clues one after another group. i was one of the last few groups lurhs, so i managed to finish watching the whole of yin yang lu2, that dumb and lame horror series. charmaine was screaming when i was laughing like hell when we were watching. lol. and yes, there was the green light joke (: anyway, there came my turn with tricia and our clue was to find jing kai (wrong spelling). ohwell. the clues was kinda difficult to solve lurhs - erutun; KC. we didnt even know what it was. until some people say was jingkai( eruntan is kinda his nick and KC is his initial turn over). and we went to the parade square, found him, and we went back to the music room. it was rather lame, right. lol. had supper and we watched yangkai's videos. some of us had already watched them during the hongkong trip, but watching em for a second or third time was still so hilarious. HAHA. esp the video taken when hannah they all were just sec ones xD after that we had our bath and we went to sleep. i slept in the middle of tricia and melody (: both of em are like, uber cute lurhs. and tricia is absolutely crazy. she just kept on laughing no matter what i say, and melody kept huh-ing me, cos she didnt understand quite a lot of hokkien. lol. but we kena scolded by mrs wong cos the three of us kept talking and tricia kept giggling (: but we slept in the end lurhs. duh. melody kinda woke me up when she woke up with chiagek (: had amazing race around yio chu kang next. was really fun (: though shitou was really very stoned at first. haha. budden after that everyone enthu up. i even saw caleb. we were sitting down there trying to piece together the puzzle when someone called my name. he was walking past with two bengbeng guys. hmmm. surprisingly, that day my mind was not as slow as it usually was and i actually solved a few clues in a row (: especially the clue - paely beauty and flower school. most groups thought was mayflower primary school, but i regconised it as the maggie mee shop behind our school. hahas. there was one point when david went kinda mad. HAHA. cos me and and tricia were like, jogging towards the busstop outside castle greencastle (cos we were afraid of not getting first 3, and not getting extra something for our lunch. haha), and we suddenly heard a loud ahh and we saw david zoom past us. me and tricia started laughing and we were going, siao! lol. it was great having david with us cos he's from 4devotion and he solved one question before i can even get what the question means. total hilarious. haha. shitou came in second (: and we got our chicken wings. after that we had our activities and we became totally wet cos there were water bombs, and i was wearing WHITE. how nice. lucky tricia was also wearing white, and she was the first to get wet. thats even nicer. lol. my army green bra showed out darn clearly. hell man. and tricia smashed a half-boiled egg at nicholas. damn fun right. lol. after that we moved on to the next station, where there were flour. before we even start the game, tricia threw flour on my right side. yes. the nice and guai tricia. hurh. and we started dumping flour on each other. at last the game didnt even start for our group (: we started hugging the girls from our group. then me and char went to hug yuenzhen and anet cos we saw em (: uber fun. we saw the bball boys, then i stared at anadee. and both of us just started screaming. LOL (: we had a bath and had our dinner. and we went back for disco night :D shitou performed their performance item. was so darn paiisehh lurhs x) cos me and nicholas were supposed to act as hannah and boonjun, and we did their actions lurhs. and nicholas had to pull my hair and i had to hmph him and call him shi fei zhu. after we finished our act, the rest were like, ' encore, encore!!!' i was like, oh my god. so paiisehh. sheryl acted as phebe, david as jingkai (haha!!) and siyang acted as ian. after our performance, the whole load of campers were like, calling hannah and boonjun out to act out what me and nicholas acted out. everyone was damn high lurhs (: after all the grps' performances, we had limbo rock. all of us were dancing and jumping. was a great disco night :D we went hme after mrs wong gave us an apple each and had our prize presentation. SHITOU GOT FIRST :D of course we would lurhs. hahas. and all of us were darn happy. and next yr, we wld be organising the choir camp (: am kinda looking forward to it (:
had quite a great day too today (: had maths remedial in the morning (total bore), but luckily, it ended early. all thanks to cheyenne. so we (cheyenne anet me) called up some of the girls ( but none except kailing made it) and we went to catch a movie at sun plaza. had intended to watch alot like lurfe, but there was only a 9pm show, so we caught ghost train lurhs (: kinda nice with a great storyline. waihong talk cork lurhs. lol. cos he say it wasnt a nice movie (x hahas. long blogging for today. suess i shall end here. tanning next! (:

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6/22/2005 07:20:00 PM

Sunday, June 19, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hello. im back from choa chu kang cemetary! fine. i was forced to go and i was pissed. cos my bro and sista get to NOT go. darn. its unfair. well. it was uber nice there. great active wildlife and the weather was hot enough to fry me, and i was wearing an oversized black tee. aint that just great? hurh. anyway, having a sista is seriously a pain in the neck. fuck. she has to kb me every single night. and i will be shhing her, telling her to shut her ass up. thats one of the reason i wanna school to reopen. cos i always isolate myself when i come hme from sch. and no one bothers. but now, im stucked at hme with her every single irking day. lucky im going away for choir camp tomorrow (: and i wont have to see her for arnd 2 days. after that im gonna isolate myself from her. im sick of her attitude, and im sure shes sick of mine. bah. uh. the thing is, yea. im describing my sista like shes one real bitch. errps. but still, shes my sista. and shes not that bad every single time. who wldnt be sick of someone whos living under the same roof as her and not get tired of those... rwahhs, naggings?! hahhs. anyway, im looking darn forward to tanning on sat :D and oops, i got it wrong. my cousin is celebrating his 21st birthday this sat =X so there wldnt be poly studs or what, but instead mayb his ns buds or some crappy guys. lucky its at night 7pm. i still get to go tanning and towning. am soooo looking forward to it (: errps. he just started a conversation with me online. then he said i looked angry ( mayb cos of the fuck. HAHA ), then he said talk to me ltr and he log off. >:( havent he have enough of... erps. i shant talk about it. okaes. as ive said, im gonna get away for the next 2 days cos im gonna be away at choir camp, and thus, i wldnt be able to blogg. duhh. thats obvious. okaes. enough of my craps. miss me, people. tata.
(:

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6/19/2005 04:15:00 PM

Saturday, June 18, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hi people (: im beginning to think that large fonts are nice. lol. i just came back from the woodlands library with the world's ultra kee siao charbor wongkailing. and guess who we met. ta-da. another two siaocharbors. phebe and ahmah (: and arent they guai? they were there to study, which, speaking of it, reminded me that i have not touched my homeworks. rwahhs. anyway, me and kailing took neos again. a bunch of bimbotic picts. and while we were drinking our slurpees at the staircase, some morons came and bother us with their church parties again. bah. and i said that both me and kailing were from angmokio :D see, i just moved. hurh. anyway, we didnt catch our ghost train cos movie tix were just tooooooo expensive on weekends. rwahhs. what the fuck lurhs. 8.50 - daylight robbery! ahahhs. im going arnd and adding crap testimonials :D and im getting darn hot. wheres my basketball games?and i wanna go beach next sat with the suntanning oil. let's strip. hahhs (: shat. dont tell me my frigging cousin is having his birthday bbq next sat. im not really interested in a bbq with all my kiddy cousins running arnd and all those poly guys. bah. bet none of em are shuai ge. HAHA. im crazy. even if they are i wont be interested (i think). im gonna get my suntan and thats that (: and well, school is reopening REAL SOON. cheers! im bored cooped up at home and im arguing with my sis like, 24/7. bah. im sick of it. so what if im hogging the comp. hurh. my bro does it too, and it seems as if no one's blaming him. darn maple story. thats the reason i think it sucks =X okae. mayb the game dont suck. no. im NOT hooked on it. not yet, anyhow. yupp yupps. BUT, the thing about school reopening is that theres gonna be ****ing teachers like quack quack (: i aint supposed to say bad things about em here :D teachers are nice people. HAHA. and i dont wanna exams. boo. and tests. and remedials. and homeworks. ARGH. they drive me crazy. whatever. i still want my suntan before school reopen, and im still happy that school's reopening ~~cos there are nice teachers~~. for no special reasons (: and im real mean. ya know, im stubborn like a mull and im specially rebellious. thats what my mum said. oh, am i? HAHS (:

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6/18/2005 04:02:00 PM

Friday, June 17, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hi again. i went to north point with my mum, and oh my god. i saw soooooo many ex school mates, and one thing i really hate is to see people whom i know yet not closed with when i go out with my mum and sista. dont ask me why. hurh. anyway, i saw lots of em. bleahs. at least i finally got my halter top. hahhs. i really wanna get a pair of mary-jane shoes (: they are sooo cute. lol. okaes. shall end here

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6/17/2005 07:26:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hello guys and girls and gays and lesbians and just about everyone. im uber bored now and thought of poking mushrooms and snails again. bah. jiayan's not online, i think. rwahhs. yesterday i was especially self obssessed and i kept taking my own photos with moomoo as i was chatting with my sista. yeaa. the hpt friendster put up the photo which ive posted (: ahahhs. i miss the fun camp! choir camp's on monday, but dont actually feel like going. school's reopening in a week's time and i havent touch my homework yet. i relly slacked like hell during the hols. but JIAYAN, rest assure i will make myself touch the books next week. hahhs (: anyway, im feeling disgusted by the fucker who tagged melly's blog. bah. who does she think she is? and yea. thats the other fucker- who left an apology msg in my friendster msg -
heyim the fucker weiliim sorry abt the call tat happened recentlyseriously, it has nth to do wif lim hanhe sent u several sms b'cuz he was really upset n sorry...i noe tat it might be irritating...but the main fault isnt himso pls forgive him...he apologized sincerelymaybe tis msg is oso another irritant to ubut pls understand tat all the blame leads to meso dun misunderstand lim hanIM HERE TO SAY SORRY TO U ON BEHALF OF ME N MY FRENZ...IT HAS NTH TO DO WIF LIM HANPLS FORGIVE HIM...THANK YOU*if u wanna to listening to the whole story...pls, by all means, msg me back...sorry
- as if i wld care to reply. lucky all of em have fucked off. shit. im like, so vulgared all of a sudden (: i want my tooters. and i want ghost train with sweet popcorns :D

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6/17/2005 03:16:00 PM

Thursday, June 16, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hello for the second time today. low jiayan, in case you are reading, you did not answer me on msn! bah. and you left me to fend for myself in ms. hurh. so much for trying to help. actually its aint that bad. ive got up to level8. and it seriously is lame poking snails and trying to kill em -.-" im NOT contradicting myself though i used to say that MS sucks, and yet i have an acc now. cos i still think its lame. im bored. thats why i have an account. frankly speaking, its quite addictive. hahhs. oh. and as i was saying, i wanna watch ghost train. and anyone wanna go towning? im bored to death and i wouldnt want to spend my whole day with mushrooms and snails (:

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6/16/2005 10:23:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hello again. one thing you people wouldnt believe. im actually playing maple story. blame it on jiayan, horrs? lol. had group study at buddy hoagies. had mochas (: and grilled chicken. and i stoned there for an hr, thanks to kailing who was late for an hr. jiayan asked me play ms, and as i was rather bored, i decided to make an acc, and yes. it is rather lame killing snails. bah. but at least they're cute (: hahhs. i wanna watch ghost train :D

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6/16/2005 07:56:00 PM

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hello tooters who read my blog (: im blogging again. im bored. so hows my new skin? pink and grey and black. its depressing enough, aint it? hurh. anyway, i dunno about tomorrow. im feeling so lazy to organise some outing. and i think i really have to start ~~studying~~SLACKING and stop going out (: serious. but i really hate to be at hme. buddy hoagies again? hahhs. i can do with some huge fries and mochas. lol (:

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6/15/2005 10:02:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

it aint too bad a day today. went to bugis and i finally bought my mini skirt (: shopped around, but seriously, shopping with friends are much much nicer. okaes. i know my attitude was kinda bad just now =X bah. i just cant stand my sista. im such a meanie. anyway, ive decided to change my blogskin to ultra plain one. i just feel like it. and i wld like to go esplanade walk (: anyone free? shall end here.

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6/15/2005 08:18:00 PM

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hello. im back. yeejun and kaijun came over just now (: and im still like, bored. we are gonna go shopping tomorrow. hopefully i can get my miniskirt. i dun wanna stay at hme. i seem to be always arguig with my sis. and i hate the feeling, about what she says abt me. shes mean. im mean too :x i know it. hurh. i told her that her taste in clothings sucks. she talks about the way i dress like im dressed in nth but bras and panties. talk about conservatism. oh. then something happen and we start laughing tgt. what the hell lurhs. and shes always complaining that i never study. and they wld be talking about retaining and how embarassing that would be. come on. im not gonna get retained so easily. rwahhs. and talking about studies reminds me of his msg to me. tt one abt him not studying nvm, but for me, i have to cos, in one way or another, i think he said that cos im in express. anyway, i tnk ive kinda got over him. i dont tnk of him tt much le. just occasional reminders. i dont wanna care whether my meaning of lurfe is right or wrong. rwahs. but it was a mistake to have even got to known him, lest start to like him. but, oh wells. its over (: mayb seeing him in school again will touch something inside, but i aint gonna care much. yeaa. ive got an urge to change my blogskin to those ultra plain with black fonts again. rwahhs. plain's nice (: but see first lurhs. shall end here.

-

6/14/2005 09:30:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

IM BORED. bah. i miss camp already. hahhs. spent the whole day watching hai tun wan lian ren. already finished the whole set, and im like, going crazy le cos i have nth to do. i dont care orhs. if my mum is not gonna take us out tmr, im gonna jio someone out. even if no one's free, im gonna go out myself. nth's beta than NOT staying at hme. anyway, my temper's became worse. bah. i cant help it. people piss me off easily now. dont mind me. my sis say ive got a bad attitude prob. whats her prob first larhs. aiyo. im really bored tiu siao liao. kns. save me :x

6/14/2005 03:45:00 PM

Monday, June 13, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

camp was uber uber uber fun :D first day of camp. we met in the canteen, then we were told to change outta our hpt shirt and tracks into shorts and pe tee. had our first activity - trustline (: had to blindfold ourselves, and stand in a line, one hand holding the friend in frnt and one hand holding the string at the side. we were made to crawl under benches on the grass and do kinds of gross things. lol. there was one point when we had to crawl through this slushy thingy lurhs. they mixed bundung with dunno whatever thing and we had to crawl. not those kinda knee crawl. is those kinda whole body flat on the grnd kinda crawl. and thruout the activity, they were pouring water over us and smearing flour on us. talk about gross. when we took off our blindfold, was so shock to see myself full of flour and soil, and i smelt of bundung. lol. the whole lot of us girls went to the handicap toilet and shuhui started spraying all of us with water. wet through. felt as though we were having grp bath. hahhs. then the guys tried to lock us in by putting the huge dustbin at the door there. girl power (: all of us slam the door tgt and the guys gave way. LOL. played 100sec NG. duno whats that game call larhs. it was fun. had flour slammed into my face again and again. lol. after that we were grouped into three grps. was glad that i managed to get into the same grp as phebe (: there were me phebe yiyuan sherry baoyun shuhui jack daniel and our mentors were valerie yijia and terrence. we went to the amk ntuc ( yeaa. in our wet clothings ) to shop for food for field cooking. had to prepare 8 dishes. was darn fun. after that some of them went back first to cook the potatos. lol. me phebe jack daniel yiyuan and terrence went to macs and we tried to get those sauces and mayo. managed to get quite alot (: saw pearlyn and weihan. after that, we went back to school. fnd the rest behind. cooked lotssa stuffs. hahas. and andrew was going arnd, letting everyone taste his 'wonderful' soup. tasted of honey and dunno what shit which he added in tgt. lol. we had the nightwalk after that. had to walk arnd the dnt block alone. and no light was on. was initially very scared de. budden cos while sitting there and waiting for our turn, we chatted lots and the fears just disappeared. lol. anyway, the grads were saying i was very cool. LOL. cos when they tried to scare me, i was always giving those kinda 'lame' de comments. lol. budden seriously, it was scary. day 2 was uber fun too. we cleaned up. me pinwen anet yiyuan and shuhui re-washed the mass tins. hahs. after that we set off for amazing race. weiquan also came with our grp. first stop was yck swimming complex, after that we moved on to the sembawang hot spring, then we went to admiralty before moving on to kranji. after that we walked a damn long way to the kranji war memorial. was darn nice there. and i actully met huixuan. so qiao lurhs (: we moved on to the jap cemetary. before that, we went to meet phebe at woodlands mrt. after the jap cemetary was arab street. i was just talking cork when guessing where to go lurhs, and i got it right. LOL. met this nice uncle and he helped us with the next answer. zam zam restaurant. kaos. the people there were darn racist. showed us attitude when we had our lunch there. after that we went to the old parliament hse there. walked quite alot and was darn tired out. moved to our next stop - the malaysia train station. met the other grp along the way and we sorta merged together. we walked a long long way to the train station where we took the train to again dunno what station. lol. after that we took the bus and got to changi village (: did our last activity. zhenhui's grp had already finished their race when we reached. after that we had our dinner there. then we moved on to changi beach, where the guys pitched the huge tent. had our after action review and the time was free for us (: everyone kept talking about valerie's boob thingy. LOL. esp terrence. hahs. had a good laugh. at arnd 1 am, nicholas brought us to changi village to see the she males. LOL. initially was a bit scary lurhs. it was so obvious that they were guys and they were until very revealing. it was fun all the same (: after that we laid jiayan's sleeping bag on the floor and we had a nap (: woke up at arnd 6 liddat. and we started packing up. zhenhui almost lost her xiao yong. and joyce finally fnd it in weiquan's bag. then me phebe char anet yiyuan sherry jy zhenhui and brenda took bus 29 and we got back to tampines where we had macs breakfast. after that, all of us went hme. it was a really really uber fun camp (: but they were saying the coming training camp was going to be very tough. yupp. guess i will end here. shall be posting the photos up (:

6/13/2005 06:58:00 PM

Friday, June 10, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

hello peeps (: ahahhs. today orhs. not bad day lurhs. had choir in the morning. learnt new song. some latin or dunno what de song. it sounded kinda similar to cantamos festivo, so yea, its nice. cos it reminds us of the romans time, with those helmets attached with horns (: so cute. anyway, the thing is, theres no chopir next week. rahs. i tnk thats supposed to be some happy event. but its not, cos im BORED. after choir, me shimin and yiyuan went khatib eat. yiyuan wanted to go yishun de. budden cos he needed e consent form, and i didnt want to go yishun, so he pei us go eat at khatib. shimin went hme first. then me and yiyuan went photocopy the consent form. and he force me to buy that liang cha lurhs. hahhs. cos he say i too heaty le. lol. whee (: camps tmr. hopr i will be well enough lurhs. yupp. okies. shall end here le. buhh buaiis.

6/10/2005 07:11:00 PM

Thursday, June 09, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

ahahhs. im finally well enough to crawl outta my bed to use the comp. yesterday was frightful i actually spent 20 hours or more sleeping. and i blacked out in the toilet. that was how sick i was. hit my back when i black out and now it hurts damn lots. thanks everyone for ur concern ((: was still intending to go to the camp meeting when my temperature rised up to 39.8 degrees and there was one point when it was 39.9. scary lurhs. hmmm. hate the medicine lurhs, cos it makes everything else i eat darn bitter. luckily im feeling much better now. hahhs. oh. and i fnd out that the call was truly a prank. DAMN. by lim han's friend weili de friend. kao larhs. i dunch even know him. fuck off lurhs. and that lim han damn fan lurhs. i tell him he very fan liaos he still sms me. rahs! can i just ask him to f off? anyways, as i said, ive been drifting on and off from sleep, and there was one point when i finally rmbed how he look like and what happened that day at the jogathon. dramatic yea? ahahhs. then forgot again, but still rmb tt impish smile of his (: yea. tts what made him darn cute. hmmm. but come to think of it, i dont really know him. and i think im kinda halfway thru suceeding in letting him go. guess tts good (: but sooner or ltr im gonna go crazy over some other dumb cute guy. hahhs. i know myself too well. hmmm. guess i will end here. buhh.

6/09/2005 02:36:00 PM

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

bah. today just aint my day. late night chatting with kailing, and someone actually called my phone to prank me. alright. its not confirmed whether its a prank, budden which provision shop wld call their customers in the middle of the nite at arnd 12.30am. of cos i was full of sarcasm for em. and in the end, i asked them who were they actually looking for, and the guy gave somehow a hurried answer of eve tan. what the fuck larhs. prank also dunno how to prank properly. hmphh. anyway, woke out with a sore body and a sore head. found out that my mum had went to my grandad's hse. watched dolphin bay, and suddenly, my mum just called to say my cousins were coming over. and i was still telling kl i might be able to pei her go gelare cafe for a while. and my cousins came over and i became sicker and sicker. until i told my mum i was too sick to go to my grandad's hse. im feeling darn woozy lurhs. and my whole body ach and im coughing like hell. it just came suddenly de lurhs. haiis. hope it wld alright by tmr since hpt camp is coming. and yes, i kept thinking abt his msges. budden now, hmmm. just feel like deleting every single one (: tt shows ive kinda moved on le right? haiis. im still feeling sooo woozy. btw, anyone for premonition on thurs? ahahhs..

6/07/2005 06:10:00 PM

Monday, June 06, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

alrighto. in a beta mood to blog now aft editing my skin. i guess i just needed something for me to concentrate on bahs. haiis. i dunch even understand why im feeling so... yucks. i hate that feeling. and im still supposed to go to my grandad's hse tmr. OHMAN. now i feel like shit again =X i dunch really want to. i just wanna stuck myself at hme or go out with the girls. shitshitshit larhs. haiis. and im feeling so bad already. i wunch hab anyone to talk to tmr. arghh. hope it wunch be whole day at grandad's hse. ~~i hate the way im liking some dumb guy.~~ damn. can i like, stop it once and for all? ARGH. im damn frustrated at myself. KNS.

6/06/2005 09:08:00 PM

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

at least today was not so boring. ahahhs. tho was feeling kinda zone out. had choir in the morning. then went for lunch at 900plus there. went to north point and went out again. moved on to safra yishun. played arcade, then bowled. ahahhs. not really in the mood to blogg today. dunno why larhs. haiis. shall end here. ciaos.

6/06/2005 07:31:00 PM

Sunday, June 05, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

damn. just as i was about to start writing, some house upstairs start drilling. what the fuck?! hahs. anyway, was feeling so darn pissed in the morning. showed my parents my report book ytd. and my father was like, why f9? then i was like, huh? what why f9. lame right. and my dad didnt want to sign my report book. so it like, so pathetic. and in the morning, my dad kept telling me to concentrate on my maths and science. damn larhs. someone just keep on drilling and drilling and knocking. fuck larhs. okaes. anyway, i was just there rolling my eyes away lurhs. hahhs. aft that jio kailing out to library. and she did it again. she smsed him for me. and surprisingly, he replied less than a min ltr. and i was down there oh my godding away. and blah blah blah. damn. the drilling just started again. hmphh. anyway, i said something mean to him while we were chatting. ahahhs. lucky he a bit toot toot then i tnk he didnt really know i was suaning him lurhs. alright, im mean. hmmm. now im still like waiting for his reply. budden i think hes gonna do his disappearing act again. rahs. and im not gonna care larhs. budden smsing him did made me feel beta larhs. hahahhs. and i tnk he was playing ps2. thats why he aint replying me. guyys... rolleyes- budden yea. smsing him dunch mean im not trying to let go. i am. hahhs. trying. and yea. thanks kailing. LOL. tho it was really darn darn freaky. hahhs. hmmm. im feeling beta. i tnk. lols (:

6/05/2005 05:51:00 PM

Saturday, June 04, 2005

_ in the end it doesnt even matter ;

its been real bored at home. have been loading songs onto my blog's music player. jay's, lin jun jie's, hillary duff's, carrie underwood's ( cheyenne's fav. ahahhs ) and i also found two songs which we sang during chapel service. gimme something more to do (: dian ge bahs. hahhs. anyway, its good to lemme concentrate on other things. cos in this way, i wunch been thinking too much. i think i shall make myself stop moping. but i seriously wanna get out of my hse. tts the first step to make me stop moping, i think. hahhs. someone jio me out lehs. haiis. i shall say again. guyys are trouble!! rahs! and suddenly, i have a craving for ice. again. hahhs. at least im not feeling very very very down and pissed off at everything lurhs. thats a good sign, i think. lol. i shall end here. im hot and sticky and im bored. i think im gonna get a bath. hahhs.
reasonless ;
! wo bu gan xin<

6/04/2005 03:52:00 PM

Friday, June 03, 2005

/ uunderneathh ;

IM UBER BORED. dying from boredom. bored to tears. whatever. just bored. yeaa. HELP!! tho i had choir today, it was still a boring day for me. bored bored bored. oh. whats so exciting is that my phone actually ramg during choir. damn silent mode. it switched off y itself. lucky it was only a sms ringtone and not a call. haiis. sian sian sian. and its DARN hot. dammit. bleahs. and yea. i will have to say this again. guyys are trouble man. arghh. shit stuffs. shall stop here. dont feel like writing anymore le. this weather is killing me man.

6/03/2005 08:03:00 PM

Thursday, June 02, 2005

/ uunderneathh ;

my ic photo SUCKS. big time. hurhh. the bloody guy makes me wanna scold fuck man. and im having some fashion haywire thing going on in my mind today. and i was LATE. again. pathetic. anyways, went to make my ic at lavender. with shimin kailing and fish. after that we went to parco bugis. and we were GREAT. cos we actually went into a hotel to get a newspaper. LOL. we wanted to check the movie timeslot marhs. and yea. a big grand hotel with a lot of ang mohs. lol. move on to orchard lido to watch the sneak of cursed. thought it was a ghost horror. it turned out to be those kinda movies that i hate - monsters. werewolves. those with lots of sudden springing out and stuffs like that. so much for acting brave (: wahahhs. i jump easily during those movies. hahhs. me and min went back first. yupp. and chatted quite lots. and i seriously do think that guys are so troublesome. no doubt abt that. lols. theres choir tmr. and i dunno why im so frigging tired. and im like, pissed at nth? mwahahhs. i seriously am going mad lers. anyways, ive come to this conclusion that there are like, some kinda big changes in me ( other than i seem to have become even more straightforward. hurhhs), and people arnd me. and that i shall say what i want. as if i haven been doing that. ohwells. fine. crap. day3 - i still miss him loads ): oh. as i have said, guys are, indeed, troublesome.

6/02/2005 07:35:00 PM

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

/ uunderneathh ;

i thought i was late when i reached school this morning. thought taf camp start at 8.30 like ytd for the campers. so i was so surprised to see all of em in the canteen. and i thought i was like, the last counscilor to reach. then i realised that there were only me, sweekoon and wilson. LOL. reagen arrived shortly after that. and when all of us finished breakfast, kailing arrived, saying that she ate dust for 15mins at the bus stop. wahahhs. ta da. only 5 of us left to takkiare of the campers. aint that great. lol. anyway, we left for bukit timah hill. and yea. the bus ride was long. was sleeping thruout with my hp radio on. LOL. when i opened my eyes after the song 'numb' ended, we reached. wahahhs. hiked up to the peak. surprisingly, we took an uber short time lurhs. lol. reagen and wilson darn crap lurhs. and i seriously tnk reagen very qian da lehhs. lol. anyways, it started raining when we were abt to reach the peak. and so qiao, we saw shimin's bro. hahhs. waited for the rain to stop at the shelter on the peak. and the 4 of us minus sweekoon sat down there and gossiped. lols. hiked down the hill. and saw shimin's bro again. lols. surprisingly, i didnt slp on the bus trip back to sch. and the campers were dismissed frm there. the 5 of us then went behind to eat lunch. wahahhs. and were talking abt the uh-la-la thingy started by wilson. uh lala - (: went back to sch to play bball. aft tt we sat in the canteen and reagen started playing with my deo. sprayed arnd half a bottle (i think.. LOL) of it on kailing. LOL. and after that we started spraying em on victor and mengzhou they all. and that stupid jake kept spraying me with the stupid thing. i was saying i shldnt have taken it out in the first place. hahhs. and yes. they finished the whole bottle. arent the guys great? uh lala (: im like, full of sarcasm today. hehh. and reagen and wilson kept fucking and saying what zuo ai. cant stand em. LOL. its all fuck today. whats the world coming to. hahhs. tmr mayb catching nc movie after making ic. dunno. mengzhou helping us get in bahs. yupps. 2nd day- its not so bad after all (:

6/01/2005 07:47:00 PM