i did a lil of maths today, the chapter on vectors. after that I succumbed to my temptation and went out to Bugis with my sister :/ hmms. but didnt buy anything much except for three pairs of ear studs. then i wanted this black skull top, but in the end decided not to cos i would be using my sister's money yet again if i so. sighs. and she also offered to buyt me a pair of Ripples slippers. but i decided not to buy in the end also. hahaha im a nice girl okays (x

sheesh. the election thingie is so noisy, with the lorry and the loudspeaker passing by every few hours, and it's so retarded. sighs. perhaps shant be logging for the next few days. shall see first. and i shant care about the idiot already. gah.

anws i found this in my folder. its the only picture ive got left of this loser and after editing, im deleting. but i still think he's so cute sometimes haha (x



okays im off.

(:
im so darn fascinated by super long english words thanks to gerald.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is a jocular term for a phobia, ironically indicating a fear of long words.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - meaning roughly "Atoning for extreme and delicate beauty while still being highly educable."

Floccinaucinihilipilification - Floccinaucinihilipilification is the act or habit of esteeming or describing something as worthless, or making something to be worthless by said means

... theres still many. but i came upon this english word which is believed to be the third longest word in the english languange, and it contains 1185 letters with the letter combination yl appearing in the word 166 times. This 1185-letter "word" is the chemical name for "Coat Protein, Tobacco Mosaic Virus, Dahlemense Strain". too bad i cant put the whole word here cos it too long and it makes my blogskin becomes weird. haha. but it's like this: Acetylseryltyrosylseryliso...serine, and the ... represents the other thousand over letters. LOL.

ohmy. english is sucha wonderful language. and im so fricking bo liao. hahaha (:

went for group study but didnt study much in the end haha (x then went northpoint. the bag i intended to buy wasnt there anymore, and the rest look too small, so didnt buy. sighs. then went northpoint. minitoons was having a sales. 3bags for 15bucks. then phebe wanted to buy this bag. so shimin also bought one and i got one leather one since its only 5bucks and it wouldnt matter if i dont carry it or something.

after that went BurgerKing for dinner. sheesh. ive got a huge appetite cos i still wasnt full after that. sighs. then chatted lots. and i admit, though i aint really sad that the idiot havent been calling for 5days, i feel empty and i'd rather he call. ahhhhhs >:/ concentrate on exams! (:

ohhhkays ive gotta stuck my ass on my chair in my room tomorrow and STUDY. i mean, really seriously study. oh and gerald just show me another new big word: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. the meaning is fear of long words. LOL. so ironic la. haha. and i still like the previous long word he gave me:
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. lololols.


blood/darkness says:
i wonder wat happens if a person wif taht condition sees that word
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious `stupid asswipe says:
ahahs
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious `stupid asswipe says:
go to shimin
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious `stupid asswipe says:
HAHAHA

okays. shimin i dont mean that, if you get what i mean ((x

see? thats frm friendster, my profile. so yea. end of story though im soooooooooooo curious to know who are all the anonymous on my blog, yes. even the eve-haters :D

ohmyyyy.
exams are three days away hahaha.
im gonna mug hard :D
oh and im so gonna get that bag.
loan from my sista :D
hahaha.
and some anonymous person say i suck!
ahahas. who knows?
perhaps you suck more than me :D
cos you are a coward,
and cowards definately dont rock.
hahaha.
alrighhhht.
im gonna study.
till later (:

had some public apology and public caning again today. sheesh. i wonder what's becoming of our school. what used to be a rare sight is so frequent now, i can still sit down there and bet whether the guy will cry or not instead of wincing when the cane goes down on their asses. gahhh.

had PE, last lesson of salsa dancing, and the guys decided to be some stubborn assholes and not dance. i got so fucking pissed with yusong and i went over to cheyenne. guys, dumb egoistic animals who think that they rule the world and everything is so beneath em. lame shit. its not as if we girls want to dance too, but at least we tried to enjoy what we're supposed to do and we dont go all whiny about not wanting to do it.

but after that we had to get back to our partners, and i was still so pissed at the guys but at least they started dancing cos they have to, and yusong kept saying that it wasnt that he didnt want to dance with me, it was just that he didnt want to dance. gah. whatever the reason is, its not as if i want to dance with him and he can go and dance salsa with his gf for all i care. hahaha. imagine that scene (x but too bad he's my bro and its so darn difficult to be angry with him for long. so everything was kinda alright again.

then had Physics test after recess and its so damn bad cos i couldnt do after revising yesterday. sighs. nothing got through my head >:( then had POA lesson and felt kinda satisfied cos i did 3 questions on myself with little help from anet :DDD didnt go hall with the rest of the school for assembly cos we had to take the graduation video thingie which is so lame. im really so not articulate and i find its really difficult to find things to say :/ so it was all lame shit to me.

after school hung arnd the classrm a while. i think eugene and sarah are gonna end up together one day. hahaha. and theyre so right for each other too xD then had to clear our tables for the examination next week and 3devotion's gonna use our classroom. had to lug a whole pile of books home. and i bet my shoulders are like, more slanted than before. hahas. me anet cheyenne went khatib Mcdonald to have lunch, then chatted a bit then home.

exams are next week already. sighs. so darn fast la :/ ohhhkays. im off alrdy. bye bye.

we couldnt find lao lao just now. so fuck. HCS can get me to do a public apology for all i care. i had FNN. i had to do my o'level coursework. he cant possibly get me to forsake my FNN O'LEVEL COURSEWORK just to give an insincere apology to an asswipe. and ive got anet as my witness. i did went to look for laolao, and twice somemore. but he wasnt there both times and thats just too fucking bad.

alright im only online for a while cos im gonna do Physics later :D and i had sooo much bread just now i think im gonna get shaped like a bread soon. faaaaaaat! gah. and anet is soooo lame. hahaha. (:

oh and i really wish somebody can throw that idiotic cockroach into a chute and he can get lost in the rubbish forever cos everyone's starting to call me xmas tree now. big dumb ass :/ then theres still the stupid bugger who greeted me early in the morning with 'eve sucks' :/ bo dua bo sui.. then theres still the dumb guys who thinks that my cheeks are for pinching.

im right about guys being dumb. sheesh. (x

im in the school comp lab now, staying back after school to do the FNN. and i dont mind at all, cos i love FNN and i love mdm afrose. its just that im a lil fricking hungry and ive got a craving for that chocolate bread from Q-bread and bubble tea :D ohwells.

anyways. HCS wants me to apologise to laolao later on for what happened that day. fuck you dude. its not as if my apology will be sincere and you fucking well know it. so whats the use laaaaa. moron.

knnb. i gotta stop scolding vulgarity already. hokkien ones sound so crude and horrible. sheesh. hahaha. alrights till laaaaaater.

hahaha.
like, some dumb guy just ask me to be his, erms, laopo?
that guy whom i havent met for like, 4 years?
hahaha. and i was chatting with gerald too and i told him all abt it.
that guy can go fuck himself for all i care.
and and and meet up after my major exams?
like fuck.
no way dude.
im not as despo as that.
sheesh.

today's wednesday, the super super long day in school. oh, and HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY TO MY LESP GOAT WONGKAILING, and HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO IMELDA! :DDD

chapel hour's back to its boring self without the Youth for Christ people and i frickinghell fell aslp. and then yadayada the day goes on. then didnt know what happened during recess that made wongkailing so sad but at least everything was alright again in the end (: then had lessons and mr hui asked me whether i apologised to soonlaolao yet not. shit ass. but i wonder why mr hui seemed to have become better this few days... lol.

after school sang birthday song for imelda. her cake's an instant brownie baked by sarah and it's nice :D after that sang birthday song for kailing and they started smashing cakes in each other's face while i kept trying to make kailing wet :D had fun. HAHA.

after that went yishun BK with phebe shimin and xiuanpin. damn cos xiuanpin is one big gigantic irritating cockroach and he should really throw himself into a rubbish bin. LOL. okays then didnt know why but felt rather strange and kinda lost my appetite, so shared one box of cheesesticks with phebe. saw clarinda there too (: then did a bit of geography, ate the chocolate pie, then decided walk home slowly, so i left first.

oh and i so wanna get the adidas bag with the three figures starting a race (: hmms. i dunno why but i feel so bloody tired. but i still managed to do a bit of physics just now :D thats like, great for me, though im just doing bits by bits. hmms okays i needa go check on my fnn now.

zzz

1. If you could be instantly fluent in one otherlanguage that you currently do not read or speak,which would it be? jap :D
2. If you could have the starring role in any film already made, what would it be?` hmm KingKong HAHAHA
3. If you could receive one small package thisvery moment, who would it be from and whatwould be in it?` my boyfriend. his heart. LOL
4. If you could own one painting from anycollection in the world but were not able to sellit, which work of art would you select?` huh.
5. If you were instantly able to play one musicalinstrument perfectly that you never have playedbefore, what would it be?` the piano
6. If you could possess one supernatural ability,what would it be?` to read someone's mind
7. If you had to choose the most valuable thingyou ever learned what would it be?` how to keep every single friendship everlasting
8. If you could have only one piece of furniturein your house, what would it be?` BED (:
9. If you could read the private diary of someoneyou know personally, whose diary would it be?` the idiot.
10. If you could have one person you know asyourslave (well-paid and cared for) domestic laborerfor one month, who would it be?` the idiot haha
11. If you could choose the way you will die, howwould you want it to happen?` die in my sleep peacefully
12. If you could wake up tomorrow to learn thatthe major newspaper headlines were about you,what would you want them to say?` oh my god she's really a nice girl! xD wahahaha
13. If you won the lottery, what is the firstthing you would do?` scream for joy. (:
14. If you could choose the music at your funeral,what would it be, and who would play it?` for now it would be click 5's pop princess hahaha
15. If you could take away the vocal cords of anyperson, who would it be?` hmm. dunno. lols
16. If you had to describe your idea of theperfect mate, how would you do it?` he's the perfect one
17. If you had to have a personal friendredecorate your house, who would you pick to doit?` hmm dunno. lols
18. If you had to choose the worst home you've ever lived in, which one was it?` hmm dunno also
19. If you could have prevented one thing fromhappening between you and a friend, what would ithave been?` no loss of contact
20. If you could learn the total number of hoursyou have spent in your life doing one thing, whatwould it be?` being really happy
21. If you had to describe yourself as a child inone word, what would it be?` stubborn blurcork
22. If you could own a single prop from any filmever made what would you choose?` the camera :D

***
Name 20 people you can think of right now at the top of your head.
Don't read the questions underneathuntil you write the names of all 20 people.
Ready? Start?

1. anet chean
2. shimin
3. phebe
4. kailing
5. cheyenne
6. yuenzhen
7. xiuanpin
8. zongyang
9. victor
10. ahmah
11. yuxuan
12. sarah
13. yusong
14. the idiot
15. joel
16. jake
17. jolene
18. mengzhou
19. eugene goh
20. eugene ng

Here are the questions.
1. How did you meet 14? hahaah camp
2.What would you do if you've never met 1? cant imagine
3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated? LOL. weddingbells will ring haha
4. Did you ever like 19? like, no? ahahaha
5. Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? PERHAPS. wakahs (x
6. Describe 3. BLURCOCK. hahaha :D
7. Do u think 8 is attractive? he can slim down and he'll become damn goodlooking :D
8. Tell me something about 7. a small brown yucky thing with two long feelers. thats it xD
9. Do you know any of 12's family? yupp yupps :D
10.What's 8's favourite? basketball? and HER. hahaha
11. What would you do when 18 confesses that he/she likes you? omg no way. LOL
12. What language(s) does 15 speak? the language of the land of thrash :D
13. Who is 9 going out with? nobody?
14. How old is 16 now? 15
15. When is the last time you talk to 13? just today
16. What is 2's favourite band/singer? hahaha like no particular one
17. Would you ever date 4? YES YES :D
18. Would you ever date 7? nonono. i dont go out with filthy brown things xD
19. Is 15 single? think so
20. What's 10's last name? neo?
21. Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11? no cos he's alrdy the ahgong. LOL
22. What school does 3 go to? PHS
23. Where does 6 live? somewhere in Yishun
24. What's fav thing about 14? he's a fricking idiot thats why.
25. Have you seen 1 naked? no way. LOL

damn it cos friendster is still fricking lag and i dunno if blogger is too. rahhhs >:(

today is a fucking narnia day cos of the harrypotter teachers hahaha. thats the ahmah vulgar language and its quite handy especially to use to lordofthering teachers. LOLOLOL. okays whatever. but today was damn terrible cos i wanted to work harder today and instead kept getting bloody fucking scolded by teachers. sheesh >:/

we got back to class for POA late from recess cos we were talking to angelyn and meiearn. sighs. they got kicked out of HPT cos of their supposedly unacceptable uniform, and apparently, mrs soh warned them many times already. but according to meiearn, she didnt receive any warnings. sheesh. i believe meiearn more cos adults are moronic. ohhkays back to the went back late thing. we were punished to stand outside to do our stuffs. then the puahbeh kias CABs were like, gloating at us. idiots with the burn out brains amd stunted growths. (all of em are fucking short for guys except for one too big sized one. freaks, all of them. yes even the idiot.) but didnt really care about em cos they arent worth me caring about em HAHA.

then after that had chinese. then halfway through i accompanied wongkailing to the toilet with permission from that knnbccb soon lao lao cos she was having damn bad cramps, and we went up to the toilet on the third floor cos our school is poor and can only afford toilet paper in that one toilet beside the library. gah. then she was in the cubicle and i was waiting outside for her, until somebody smsed her to tell her that lao lao was looking for us. so we went back to class with her still having fucking bad cramps.

laolao stopped us from going into the class and shouted at us (and with that bloody micophone he wears around his neck, he was obviously loud and in the mood to attract other teacher's attention. sheesh). he kept insisting that we took his bloody pass to walk around the school and he refused to believe that we were in the fucking toilet all along. we even had witness, (the toilet aunty. anyway she is so rich that her shoes are a pair of Crocs. ahaha.) and he still fucking dont believe.

so naturally we got damn exasperated and perhaps our tones got louder and louder till he fucking think that we're shouting at him, and he was being such a drama king saying that we look as if we want to beat him up. perhaps we look a wee bit intimidating, but HELLO. we're girls and he's a, ehem, man. oh, make that a quarter of a man. gah.

then mrs leaw came out and we were damn glad that she came. really, i aint being sarcastic here. then kailing explained to her what was going on and thankfully she understands (: then end of the chinese lesson, laolao went to report me to mr hui, so i had to stay back after maths remedial to write a statement. surprisingly and fortunately, mr hui understood the whole situation too, about soonlaolao assuming that we walked arnd the school and stuffs. even that HCS is nice today la. sheesh.

after everything went BuddyHoagies with kailing. then talked to that lameshit bugger. sheesh. i really needa talk more to improve my vocab so that whenever someone keeps shooting me, i'll have something to say instead of whatever. GAHHHHHHHHHH.

okays. one thing good today is that i did some maths revision. (: and i listened during maths class too. hahaha. right. im online today again. but really. only for a short while. haha :D

i dunno why but both friendster and blogger are darn lag.
sheesh.

hahaha i was uber high today :D and i guess its better this way. like, duh.

okays today was good cos there was no POA and i tried to listen in class. i did the maths which was given to us and i kept asking anet how to do. hahaha thats a first :D but then the rest of the lessons were like crap so didnt really bother. sighs. and chinese lessons are still crap, as usual.

after school wasted time at causeway point when we could have just went group study at BuddyHoagies. sighhhhs :( im feeling so hardworking today, so its rather a pity that we didnt go grp study. lololols. then after that was raining like shit and even though there was shelter all the way from the bus stop to my housse, i was still fucking wet. lame shit. then mom nagged again about me not bringing umbrella to school and yadayadayada.

then wanted to do maths but ended up stoning at the ten-year series till the idiot called and we talk about idiotic stuffs for a lil while. SIGHS. im bloody hopeless cos all i can do is stone :/ hmm cant go for grp study tomorrow too cos we needa go down to town to get prezzie for some woman. hahaha. so maybe i'll try to listen doubly hard during lessons and ask more questions and try to get my doubts cleared. then maybe i wont come online tomorrow. hahaha. i shall see first.

alright the idiot is more stupid than me, like duh. hahaha. hmm im so fricking worried about exams. >:/ gahhhh.

check this blog out.
(CLICK)
the guys are cute.
its a pity... sheesh.
go see go see go see!
hahaha.

i think im so gonna die already cos i havent start revision yet and it's like, 8 days more to go? GAH. tomorrow i MUST MUST MUST study already. sighs. and im getting fat >:/

sooooooooo. i went to the Popular at brasbrasah today with sister cos she wanted to get the vcds and she wanted to look up her friends or something. it was fucking hilarious cos all of em were like, oh next time don't come work at Popular. HAHA. and most of em thought that i was a friend instead of a sister at first. lololols.

hmms. alright. i dont feel like blogging anymore. i so fricking hate exams. gahhh. >:(

although i think songs on blogs are so irritating, i decided to put pop princess on mine cos i suddenly like it alot. hahaaaas :D

im alright again today. oh and ive just decided that the reason i was so emotional the past few days is that i was having pms. so hahaha. theres nothing wrong with me, and perhaps my brain aint screwed after all. LOLS.

i wanted to start studying today but ended up not going for group study and sleeping instead. sighs. the day was soooo fricking humid and hot, cant blame me. ohwells. then went to meet the people. like, after one month, the weather is finally good enough for us to play basketball. but sheesh. the guys kept on playing and playing and we girls didnt had any chance to play at all :/ i guess cos this time round there was only 3 of us. gahhhh. guys are dumb and egoistic. sheeeeesh.

after that didnt went for dinner with em cos i didnt feel like having dinner and i didnt feel like going over to north point though i kinda wanted the walk. im weird. rahs. then my bro bought me pratas and dammit cos im getting FAT. >:/ and im getting eyebags and stuffs and im alrdy fugly enough. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhs. im in a dramaqueen mood after so many days of depression. hahaha :D

right. im so pissed at myself cos some ahbeng already started studying and i havent :/ ahahaaas.

today is oh-so-screwed.

im happy that it's the weekends already and there's no need to go to school. im sick of teachers, and im getting like, anti-social and i just don't feel like going with big bunches of people and i'll just feel so out ): i really dunno what to do already. i don't even know whats wrong with me.

mrs tan talked to the councillors today in the library and i think shes super nice (: POA was totally cool today cos people who didnt do homeworks had to go out and sit and 29 people were outside the class in all :D HCS lessons suck like shit. i cant stand him. gahhhh. after school we had choir and i became like, happier. it was kinda fun to teach the juniors to dance 'every move i make'.

i wasnt exactly having a great night yesterday, perhaps im really stressing myself too much about everything. >:/ then the idiot called and we talked for arnd 2hours. felt so bloody much better after that, cos he called, and cos of the stuffs he said to make me feel better (: perhaps i should learn from him, and take everyday as one whole new day and dont give a fuck about yesterdays. but im so pissed at myself cos i didnt know what to say to him when he tells me his troubles, and yet when i tell him my troubles, he's like, able to make me think things in a more positive way. sheesh. loser. oh and to say the truth, i havent come to term with myself that this idiot moronic friendship might not last long, and that i'll be sad like hell when everything ends.

ohhhkays. the song pop princess keeps on playing in my mind. hahaha. im gonna start studying alrdy (: and im gonna just be glad that im presently not feeling weird. im not gonna care whats gonna happen later. hmm. positive thinking. :l

***
{"Freddie might like me, and I really think he did, but he was a prince and I was an American nobody. Unlike Indie, I was as close to being a nobody as he was likely to meet. I was in his world but not of it. I was like a random stranger trying on the glass slipper. 'Close, but not close enough,' the Prince's equerries would say."} extracted from Stealing Princes, The Clypso Chronicles.

ohhkays ive changed the url and the blogskin. the template's gonna be temporary only. thats why it's kinda... anyohow. so yea. but guess i'll be changing only after midyears (: im gonna stop coming online so often starting from next monday.

today was alright. went marina square with shimin cheyenne and ahmah. window shopped and bought my shoes. had rum&raisin icecream which was super nice :D but i didn't enjoy myself that much, maybe except for the part when we were camwhoring in the nice toilet. haha. i think im turning into some moping freak. oh, sheesh. after that kailing came and they went kbox. didnt feel like going, and its too ex for me anyway, so waited for phebe at mcCafe.

phebe came with her sister judith. then we walked arnd, then decided to go down to town cos the place felt dead. it was so embarrasing cos i said millenia walk as paragon. HAHA. blurcock. so we took the bus to somerset. the youth park's damn cool by the way, though most of the people there arent chinese. went to cine to eat. saw shawntay and think he got uglier :/ then went heeren. it was rather boring. we were always walking the same way, looking at the same stuffs and it was a weekday so there werent much people. sighs. so we went home. talked lots on the train. i still find it so hard to narrate my thoughts. sighs.

whatever. there's something wrong with me these few days and i dunno what. maybe i'll just try and concentrate on concentrating hard for exams. gah. and i think nelson's right. my brain's too screwed thats why i didnt win anything for sports day. lols. i shall try unscrew it then. then maybe i'll stop being such a loser.

my mom says im weird cos i do things that other people whos gonna take the o's this year don't do. and that is to switch on the comp so often. oh what does she know about those other people? age gap. hahs.

im feeling soooo much better already and ive decided that it's gonna be a waste of time if i stay at home so im gonna get out of the house but im gonna study a lil when i get back. so yeaa. haha. oh and the idiot called just now and im not worried alrdy though he needa report back to the p again today.

ohhhkays ciao for now.

1. First Name? eve
2. Were you named after anyone? eve as in adam and eve? haha
3. Do you wish on stars? no don't believe in em anymore >:/
4. When did you last cry? cry? i dont cry haha :/
5. Do you like your handwriting? nah
6. What is your favorite lunchmeat? chickenchop counted?
7. What is your birth date? 29may
8. Mountains or Beach? beach
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? YES YES YES. HAHA
10. Do you have a journal? no.
11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? oh no i dont. :D
12. Do you have a nickname? like, duh. who doesn't?
13. Would you bungee jump? perhaps, if i can overcome my fear
14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no
15. Do you think that you are strong? not really
16. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? chocolate. mint. rum&raisin
17. Shoe Size? 5
18. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? oh-em-gee i sooooooo love myself.
19. Who do you miss most? 2904? (:
21. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? brown pants black tee
22. What are you listening to right now? nth i need the peace
23.Last thing you ate? rice
24. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? hot pink. black is used too often and it'll be used up sooner than the others
25. What is the weather? fucking humid
27. Last person you talked to on the phone? i don't wanna say who
28. Something you notice about the opposite gender? it different for different guys haha
29. Do you like the person who sent this to you? i dont even know her
30. Favorite Drink? sprite ice, coke, h2o
31. What is your favorite sport? basketball netball yadayadayada
32. Hair Color? black
33. Eye Color? brown
34. Do you wear contacts? no i want though
35. Favorite Food? chocolates
36. Last Movie You Watched? i forgot what
37. Favorite Day of the Year? perhaps my birthday
38. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? oh shucks whatever
39. Summer or winter? summer
40. Hugs or Kisses? hugs for now
41. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? chocolate brownie from mrs fields, chocolateicecream waffle
42. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? huh.
43. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? dunno
44. living arrangements? ohh stupid, cos i dont have my own room
45. What book are you reading? back in black
46. What is on Your Mouse Pad? the mouse. like, duh
47. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? da chang jin
48. Favorite Sounds? music
50. What do you admire about yourself? everything yah right.

oh and changing url, maybe like, tomorrow, by the way.
im feeling better now. hahs.

sometimes i dont like blogging in my blog cos no matter how much i blog i never seem to be able to write exactly the way i feel and it sucks. cos sometimes it seems as if what i blog aint exactly what im thinking of blogging about. ohhhkays i guess noone can get what i mean. oh never mind. sheesh.

i really dont know wassup with me now. im one big emotionalwreck and i think im gonna start crying soon. fuck.

my dad's home early and he wanted me to attend this seminar thing about studying on sat with my cousin and my aunt. i said no, duh. and he was like, yakking about how i dont treat my studies seriously, then he started asking me what i was doing on the comp and whether i was just talking online with people, like what the fuck. i put my msn as offline kays. i was like, talking online your head. yah i dont care whether im gonna pass my o's or not and i shuddup and he went out of the room and i started to feel like crying all over again ):

heard him yakking at my brother and felt so bad that i couldnt just sit down there and study like my sister, and get fricking good results, and at the same time feel so angry that he's assuming that i don't give a shit about exams. i do care and i do want to get good results. sheesh.

gah so anyways parade was good today, and i was still a happy girl in the morning. had the choir performance. i guess it's already the last time we'll be wearing the fugly green gown in the school hall for a performance. and during our item, phebe cracked on a note, then me and ling started laughing. it was retarded.

hmm took part in the 4x100m relay in the sports day. but i dropped the baton and we became last from first and phebe got so disappointed and guilty cos she thinks she was the one at fault that she cried and i got so bloody pissed at myself for dropping the bloody baton that i couldnt control myself in the toilet and i started bawling like some asshole. fuck. it was my damn fault and im really sorry.

then i got really high again and took part in the 4x100m relay for the cca thingie. represented basketball girls with xiaoli anet and phebe. was determined not to drop the baton this time round and ohhhkays. we got second. but there was no trophy for that event cos the school's so stingy and tricked us into thinking that there was prize for that event and so we took part. but i dont really care for that trophy cos i really think it belongs to xiaoli. without her we'd have gotten mayb third or fourth so whatever. i dont really care about not getting the stupid thing. shes rather nice anyways.

after that i got really depressed, cos im like a big loser. i seem to cant do anything right. and i was like, worrying for someone whom dont need me to worry for. ohhhkays now im not worrying already. really. i think it's so stupid. and i dropped the bloody baton. and i cant study hard and get good results. and im such a bloody asshole that sooner or later i'll end up friendless. GAHHH.

life's really depressing right now, but i shant cry anymore. it's stupid to cry over nothing. i dont even know whether i should just stay at home and study tomorrow or just get out of the house. i don't feel like being stucked at home and listening to naggings. but i dont wanna be stucked with the guilty feeling that im like, slacking arnd when my parents and everybody else are so damn worried about my fricking results.

life's a bitch now. really.

shitass i was so fucking worried that anetchean wouldn't turn up today for school cos there was chem test, fnn test and fucking maths test. so luckily she came and i love her to bits though she is sooooooo irritating haha! oh and she walked in like shes the one who set the time for school to start. lololols.

kays many of the teachers didn't come today and though that fuckedup HCS never come, we were still given the bloody maths test. gah. had firedrill which was so darn retarded cos its a waste of time, and sweat. after school had the FNN test and i really love mdm afrose. i shall work hard for my next fnn test (: or should i say, im gonna work hard for every single tests that's coming already, and to do that, i shall stop being hooked onto the comp. but what the fuck i've been saying that for millions and zillions of time. sheeeesh. i know i know :/ me myself am so damn worried about the O's. sighs. it sucks.

after school people went on dates again :/ so me cheyenne phebe anet and wenqi went sembawang. hahaha. the initially-very-depressed-mood became better outta school when we were talking about getting into armies together. haha :D it would be nice, perhaps. then we'll come out all sexy HAHAHA what the fuck. LOL. then we had lunch at the new eatery and were laughing like mad cows down there. teehees (: who gives a fuck about being depressed.

tomorrow's gonna be a sooo busy day with the POP, thanksgiving concert, sports day and blah. and im just gonna die of embarrasment in the GREEN GOWN, so i'll pray hard that the secfours will be sitted in chairs FAR FROM THE STAGE at the behind of the hall, then maybe i won't die so early (:

oh and joel says girls should not be vulgar. someday i'll listen to him. omgggg im so bloody high today :/

the youth for christ people came again today, i think for the last time, for our chapel hour. today's timetable was replaced by wed's timetable. and for the first time this year, yayness for the school cos we're having a break on thurs :DDD

oh and anyway. i was sitting beside this motherfucker sicko in the bus to school today. could feel that he was looking at me with those kinda tiko eyes. then when i stood up, geraldine told me he was looking at my, umms, legs. WHAT THE FUCK. then he apparently also looked at her ___ when she stood up. what's with all these sickos dude. they should get knock down by cars, or maybe they should poke emselves in the eyes so that they'll be blinded. see no evil, and so they say. rahhhhhs.

hmm the time passed rather fast today, though there were still fucking lots of lessons. then me and anet were bitching about people, saying whos so pretty and whos not. teehees. after school had to stay back to do physics cos mr tan claimed that we never do homework. okays. we really never do but whatever. physics lessons are crap. me yusong cheyenne anet and charmaine. hahaha. all the twograce'o4 people. LOVES! xD

after that had choir. then miss yee was in those kinda dont-piss-me-off mood again. sheesh. she didnt know whether i was eve or shimin :/ gahhh. and angie said that i look like shimin haha! i thought me and phebe were the ones who look alike. ohhhkays. different people view things differently.

hmm ive decided to limit the amount of chocolate waffle i eat to at most 2or3 per week, and not to eat too much chocolate and fatty stuffs cos im fat, and my face is round >:/ and i must try to make myself eat apples. hahaha. oh and i must revise already. but i really want to get out of the damn house on thurs :D

ohhkays im so not looking forward to thanksgiving concert. the green gown is crap. sheesh.


***

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you
I can't believe that I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

i was bored so i took this test to find out what horoscope i really should be, and surprisingly, it aint gemini:

Eve, you're an Aquarius!
The planets are very complex. Maybe your astrologer will disagree, and maybe a few tendencies will vary, but overall you're an AQUARIUS. As an air sign, you're a great communicator and an independent thinker. Besides which, you've got an incredibly popular side -- people can't resist that inviting personality and your altruistic ways. You are ambitious and creative, but you also have a tendency to be inflexible when it comes to your views. Although you may be a great and giving friend, you tend to shy away from romantic relationships. Your sign -- the water-bearer -- indicates that you give off a special energy that others receive as a gift. You are definitely a people person, and you want everyone to be happy. You also have an analytical edge that comes out in your progressive thinking. In addition to all of these redeeming qualities, you are most commonly known for being the friendliest sign in the zodiac.

yadayadayada. im confused by these stuffs. theyre crap actually. i still prefer being a geminian. hahaha. ohhkays whatever. there's school tomorrow and it's gonna be a fricking long day. sighs >:/

it's gonna rain again.

im actually doing maths :D revision on vectors. what a miracle. sheesh. oh and im really really going to get really fat at the rate i'm eating. it seems as if im stuffing food in my mouth every second, and most of em are made of chocolates and are very fattening. gah.

hmm. angels and airwaves songs are nice (:

ive decided to upload some photos now. im bored. gah.




















ohhhkays im done here. (:

oh im so lazy to upload the pictures again. the bloody hell blogger shut on me just now, so yeaaaa. next time.

ohhhhkays. i wanna get more brushes, and do more photoshopping :D it takes things off the mind. and i havent been feeling very happy lately, except for yesterday and maybe sometimes. oh and i wanna stop being so fucking smiley when the idiot calls. we talk only talk crap besides school stuffs and im beginning to think its kinda retarded.

i so wanna get contact lenses. and i need new shoes and bag. hmm. i want to go shopping. sighhhhhhhhs. oh and i want to get plastic surgery haha.

yes yes yes. that was it. the dumbest but coolest class outing (: and i finally got to do what ive always hoped to do - take photos in the middle of the road. hahaha :DDD and surprisingly, lydia was the one who suggested to do it. i thought i was the only insane one who want to do this kinda thing. oh and zhiheng was worse. he was rolling on the road. haha! (:

ohhhkays. so it goes. met up with ahgong weileong zhiheng zhixuan leonard joel yuenchen and dunno who else at khatib. then i was late, and im really sorry. ahahs. then got to marina bay where some of the others already were at. waited for michelle. took the bus to the place. then at first couldnt decide where to eat. me lydia yuenchen and some others wanted to eat the the dragon village cos it seemed cleaner. but some others wanted to eat live prawns :/ so in the end we ate at that restaurant where there were live prawns.

took a lot of meat and stuffs. haha. and i think mengzhou's very crazy about fish. lols. after that played truth or dare. it was uber hilarious (: when everybody finished eating at 8plus, we decided to go to the beach. so we started walking. then we walk through this very dark pathway which supposedly will reach the beach. gah. and i think we stepped onto some ant nest and we got bitten and stuffs, and the grass at the side was bloody long. we realised that the other half of the path was flooded. so we had to turn back. and we were like screaming and shouting cos we couldnt see what was biting us. haha.

so we continued walking and mengzhou led us to another path. this time it was some kinda stone path and there wasnt any ants. so yea. we walked through and got to the sea :D fooled arnd a bit there. then at arnd 9.15, decided to leave. ohhhkays. decided to take photos in the middle of the road cos there were uber few cars :D then we decided to walk back to the mrt station. wrong move, cos we lost our way :/ gah.

so we roamed arnd. then sinhui and brenda led us to the marina city park. by then it was already arnd 10 alrdy. they said there was a shortcut or something that could get us to cityhall mrt station, and the park was fucking big and yes. we got lost in the park. couldnt find the exit, and there was like, no one. gahhh. then in the end after walking round and round the park, sinhui and brenda finally found the shortcut they were looking for. but bloody hell. didnt want to follow em cos the place was under some kinda huge bridge or something and it was fucking dark and there were snakes, according to sinhui. so xiangyi luke michelle and yanguang followed brenda and sinhui while the rest of us walked back to proper paths.

saw another bunch of teenagers, haha. then thought they could give us directions. but ended up there were lost too. haha. then we walked together and finally got out of the park. but couldnt find our way to the mrt station. we were jumping on the road and shouting at cars passing by. but none would stop. we got uber pissed at singaporeans. haha. went to a busstop. then the bus came but it was too packed and it didnt stop for us to board. sighs. then i think there was one car which was gonna stop. then joel thought she wont stop, so he was like, fuck you bitch. then the car moved on. HAHA.

it was alrdy 11 when we were at the bus stop. so we just camwhored there and zhiheng was rolling on the road and we were like running and playing on the road. then jerome called his dad and his uncle to come and get the 11(if im not wrong) of us home. so at arnd 11.30, we finally got to go home. haha (: reached home at 12 and mum didnt say anything :D

ohhhhhhhkays. i shall upload the photos later on (: byebye till later.

i dunno why but my computer is fucking slow today and it takes bloody long to even load some html. sighs. so i guess i'll bot be making the template for FFC's blog today. but ive already set up the acc :D when everything's done, i'll hand out the password and user to the fatfat clubbers, that is, the ffc members :D hahaha.

ohhhkays. i feel so lonely all of a sudden. i might be going to the class steamboat dinner afterall. i dunch feel like spending tomorrow alone ):

hahaha today's a really long day, but nevertheless, it was fun :D

chapel hour today was nice still. the talk was really good, interesting, about human relationships and commitment stuffs. then we had recess, after which we went back to the hall to witness some public apology by 8 girls who apparently prevented some girl from going out of the toilet and bully her by slapping her and stuffs. sheesh.

those 8 are idiots. that lil summer princess's one of em and now she's stripped off councillor already. ohhhkays. i dont really feel sorry for the girl who got slapped when i got to know who she was, cos haha, i dont exactly have a good impression of her. whatever. its their problem if they like to slap each other.

hmm then mr lim was like, crazy today. he made a sec one girl cried. for goodness sake. he called her to stand up and scolded her just cos she sneezed >:/ yes. SNEEZED only. i bet she felt so embarrased. then she started wheezing when mr lim called her to stand and she tried to control the coughs from coming out. i think she's sick or something. so mr lim asked her to go to the toilet to finish coughing or something :/ retarded. then when she walked in, mr lim started yelling at her about her hair. i think she was confused by everything and she started crying. then mr wee asked mr lim to leave her alone. and ive always thought mr lim was so nice. maybe not, i guess. all of us felt so unfair for the girl :/

after that went for the choir rehersal, then went back music room to dance every move i make :D then changed into HPT shirt and went to the hall to teach the sec4s/5s cheers. ohhhkays. didnt have the mood at first cos it felt so much like we're self-entertaining. sighs. helped phebe took 4faith. then things became better at the stadium. sheesh. PHS losed to Jurong Sec and we got second. but we won the cheering competition (:

oh and theres this scab on my nose which yuenchen refers to as the piercing at the top of my nose :/ hahaaaas. im so afraid it'll leave a scar. i shouldnt have succumb to the temptation to keep touching it. rahs. after the vball competition, had debrief. then met ahmah zongyang and victor at the mcdonald. had dinner. then went home. oh and we saw this aunty who was soooooooooo damn cheapskate. she had a cpuple of coupons to exchange for a few packet of wet tissue at watson and she made us help her take :/ so retarded. maybe she's really thaaaaaaaaaat poor. ohwells.

hmms. its horrible. im feeling so empty again. sighhhhhhs. cos it's like... oh nevermind. sighs. im off to make the FFC blog already :D oh and the photos are uploaded.

omg shes soooooo cute :D

my mom caught me using the phone in the middle of the night yesterday :/ and thats very bad cos that will be another thing for her to nag at me about. sighs.

today surprisingly i didnt feel bloody sleepy hahaha (: FNN was nice today and mdm afrose bought us oreos and yupi gummies to eat while we do our coursework. we love her to death (: hmms then had chemistry remedial after school. phebe taught me a bit and i did a bit. oh and i still dont like my form teacher cos he's so action, and so retarded, and so irritating. after that went home with yuenchen. we went to the pasarmalam. its so retarded cos theres nothing much there. hmm bought snacks (:

ohhhh. theres the volleyball match after school tomorrow and hpt's leading cheers again. but sec4s and 5s are soooo not fun and i bet not many people will cheer. then we'll be looking like some lunatics self-entertaining again. SIGHS. ahhs and we get to leave class early tomorrow :D i mean, for choir. cos we've got thanksgiving rehersal. yayyayyay (: get to miss PAC teehees (:

alright im so happy today and i dunno why. ohkays i know why but the reason suck so i shant say anything. i think ivan's selling icecream arnd the vincinity but ive got icecream at home already so i cant buy from him. rah feel kinda bad. but nvm whatever.

kays ive uploaded the photo slideshow on my friendster profile already. but its kinda lag. ohwhatever.

hmm im off to play with photoshop. (:

i totally suck today.

or perhaps i suck everyday. im so irritable, so irritating, so quicktempered, so vulgar, and so bloody whiny hahaha. im so sick of everything already. okays now what i wanna say is, fuck you la. humph your bloody head. sheesh. thats for some stupid irritant :/

ohhhkays. i felt whoozy in the morning. like, theres a thin film of haze over everything. and i didnt really feel like smiling or anything. but i felt better during recess with all the whinings. hahaha. then pac was surprisingly alright today. maths period sucked like shit dammit all because of the bloody hell teacher who thinks that i will start paying attention if he moves me to the front. FUCK YOU. im bloody hell sorry im a stubborn asshole and you make me turn off even more. GAH. and ohshit that hes going to the class gathering. knn. ewwww. it didnt help that i had to see him for an extra one hour today cos we had maths remedial. SIGHS.

had HPT after school while people go on DATES. sighhhhhhhhhhhs >:/ so deprived. hahaaa. cheering was uber tiring today and i managed to get the people to go jog! hahaha. one round around the school compound and we're already tired like hell. oh by the way the maria runs fucking faster than me. ): im pulling out if i think that i cant make it. cos there won't be any use in joining already. *&#%$!

hmmm sheesh i'd like to have someone to miss. can i can i can i? gah. my head is kinda screwed today.

today is a fricking hot day, and i can sweat buckets just by sitting down :/

oh and i finally know what happened. sheesh. i waited up for the call yesterday night, not exactly knowing that he'll call. i was just hoping. and if he didnt, i guess i'd really not care anymore about this whole fricking thing. i'll just pretend nothing ever happened, and that we're just people from the same school who got to fricking know each other and just smile at each other when we see each other in school. hurh. then he can just continue thinking that im two-faced and blah blah. but its okay. he msged. then called. hahaha. and though i hate to say this, i was bloody happy to hear from him.

anyway just a random thought. guys are really dumb cos they spend all their time on stupid games and its so stupid. rahhh. whatever.

so im still trying to figure out why The fucking Faggot so love to put words in my mouth, and why he is sucha fuckedup faggot. i would dearly love to go and confront him. but i made a promise to just forget it. i think that bastard idiot just dont wanna blow up the matter and let teethlikeshit get to hear about it. knowing that woman, she'd probably think... hmm never mind. HAHAHA. what i wanted to say sounded like something wongkailing will say. but whatever. its fine with me since i dont even want to look at The Faggot, let alone talk to him. but if it happens again, The Faggot's gonna get it. rahs.

the following weeks are gonna be busy, with the thanksgiving concert and school concert. then theres the sports day, and im so fricking afraid for myself. ahhhs WHATEVER. i dont feel like blogging already. bye bye for now >:/

i love my sister veryyyyyyyyy much cos she spared me 10bucks to go kBox (x ahahs.

so today i decided in the end not to stay at home cos it was too depressing. whats more, i did my chem ten years series yesterday alrdy! (: though i only did 40 mcqs, it's a great start for me so i decided to go out and celebrate. hahaha. my ass. i mean. celebrate my ass. hahaha. i just wanted to get out of the damn house.

so we went lot1 kbox and sang our hearts out, till we were so tired in the end. HAHA. was looking at the photos and i kinda freaked cos i realised me and ling really look like some lesbian partner in the photos. teehees. man. i sound so hyper. hahaha. alright theres still the freaking school tomorrow. hmms.

i wanna go jogging. somebody go with me please. oh and that bloody hell asshole havent called me every since he called me at some stupid time the previous time and ive decided not to care whether he call a not already and i shant be all broody and sad about it anymore. gahhhhhhh. but i know maybe it's gonna be a different story tomorrow. but never mind. im happy today and its more than enough for me. good things dunch ever seem to last so i shall be happy with being happy now (: so there.

sheesh.

i spent 2 hours making a photo slideshow.
though it aint very good,
im very very satisfied (:
shall upload it someday :D
looking at the photos make me want to go back to the past.
sighs.
i miss twograce'o4 alot alot. ):

***

Beautifully Broken
It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didnt know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try
I will try wipe the tears from my eyes

[Chorus:]I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it
Every day is a new day
I'm reminded of my past
Everytime theres another storm
I know that it wont last
Every moment I'm filled with hope
cause i get another chance
But I will try I will try
Got nothing left to hide

[Chorus]

Without the highs and the lows
Where will we go?
Where will we go?

[Chorus]
I am beautifully broken,
I am beautifully broken
I am beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it

sheesh.
today is a bloody fricking boring day.
and my thoughts are running wild.
gah.

i felt very very bloody shitty this morning. then felt better after our PE. did salsa again, learnt new step: sweetheart turn. mood turned to shit again after POA. miss cheong left lesson halfway through, crying. we dunno what the hell was wrong. and i followed out just to see if miss cheong will come back in the end. she didnt, and she asked us to leave her alone. went back to class and joel was saying that we were hypocrites. sheesh. maybe thats true. fuck. a few minutes later, we girls were just sitting arnd and looking at magazines like nothing happened. so yea. perhaps we really are hypocrites. lols :/

after school decided that i wasnt in the right mood to go choir. then just sat in the classroom with the people and waited for shimin. gah. theyre very funny people. and they bloody made me laugh. and anet xiuanpin and fishy were singing the distorted version of my anata. so imagine the scene. i was like, laughing and crying. sheesh. yea. i fucking cried like a fucking weakling. it was more of a silent crying. not everything came out, but after that everything seemed so much better. ahahs. i felt so much better i was crapping arnd as usual after that.

i really didnt know that it could like, have such a deep impact on me. and fuck i dunch like it. but everything's better now. i just let whatever will happen happen, and then see how. sheesh. murphy's law. whatever that can go wrong will go wrong. and this wasnt even a right friendship in the first place. hurh. so whatever.

i shant say more. it frigging hurt when i think about it.

somebody just kinda accused me of something i fucking didnt do.
he didnt exactly say he didnt believe me.
but the words ' i dont know la'...
fuck.
i fucking dunno whats happening alrdy.

school was kinda fun today. but the heat was bloody horrible. then didnt feel like doing anything cos i didnt want to sweat. teehees :P that sounds totally bimbotic, i know. but... i really hate sweating when it isnt the time to sweat if you get what i mean.

then had the activity where we had to shoot hoops or kick a goal to get an alphabet to guess some words. had to go out in the sun :/ sheesh. then it was uber hot. borrowed the bball from the guys awhile and played with it. gah. i injured my right middle finger again. its the third or fourth time alrdy. i think if theres another one more time, it will grow swollen permenantly. ahahs.

then after school, had slight headache at first. maybe from yesterday's rain and today's heat. so didnt go for hpt. went khatib mac with shimin. talked over our lunch, then home for my nap. today's okay. i think. for once.

i dunch feel like saying more already. goodbye for now.

the time passed bloody slowly today and it was like, horrible. hmm so yea. had POA today. and i actually passed the test. miracle. though i only passed with 50marks, im still happy cos i totally did not study for that test and i know nuts about that topic. miss cheong was still displeased and kept saying that its not i dunch wanna do. its just that im lazy. like, hello. i dunch even know how to do. shes going too fast during lesson for me. so i mostly depend on cheyenne kailing and anet for teaching me POA.

hmm then at 1.30 those taking part in the sports heat get to leave lessons (: then phebe came home with me cos i needa get my shoes. then went shimin's hse to borrow the shoes. then rushed back to yck stadium. ran the 100m. sheesh. realised my stamina really got worse alot >:( and i fucking slowed down. sighs. timing was 15.18seconds. then we just sat there and talked. then kailing came :DDD was sooooooooooo happy she came. cos at least she bothered to (: lubzlubz. teehees. then continued talking. after that started raining, then there were lightning, so couldnt continue the heats anymore.

so we ended up kinda wasting our time waiting for something which didnt happened in the end. our 4x100 heats was postpone to some other day. was raining darn heavily. then we decided to walk to the mrt station in the rain (: when we got out of the stadium, there were these few agape guys sitting outside the restaurant there. then yinkiat was filling a plastic bag with the rainwater dripping from the roof, and he was like, saying that since i was going to go out in the rain anyway, then he showed me the bag. i was like, whatever. then when i turned my back, he threw the water bomb. gah. luckily it didnt hit me. sheesh. what kinda idiot is he. i mean. them. the whole bunch. rahs. cos they just kept laughing and laughing like some barbarians and i aint surprised if i guessed correctly what theyre laughing at. rahhhhs >:(

hmm okays so anyway. in the end we were bloody drenched. then i accompanied phebe to shimin's hse again to return the shoes. by then we were dripping water cos the rain was uber big. then we borrowed an umbrella. but by then the rain had already became a drizzle. :/ so taking the umbrella was kinda useless. home after that.

ahhs. ive long stopped caring alrdy about their barbaric comments and stuffs. ive learnt how to ignore, how to pretend i didnt hear anything. actually ive always been doing it. but sometimes, it gets tiring. and im really sick of wanting to know whether he's been putting words in my mouth, saying the untruths, manipulating people's mind, making them think that im the one who have like, a super duper crush on him, whether he's been a true friend, who lends a listening ear and gives sincere comforts.

and im thoroughly sick of figuring out the exact way i feel.

but i guess i cant do anything else, but to let things continue the way it is. gah. i dont want to, but yet, i want to. as cheyenne said, thats how ironic life is. i was telling her that im like, a bloody crybaby who dunch cry. and she was like, thats ironic. and then we started saying how ironic life is. frequent crappy conversations like that takes things off my mind, and are somehow not crappy, but meaningful. kays im starting to talk crap and contradict myself already.

hopefully my feeling shall continue staying neutral. at least today i need not get crazy to make myself happy, and though im not really happy, im not exactly depressed. so hahaha. neutral. (:

kays so the language fest activity was rather, umms, interesting. but so tiring cos we had to run up and down the classrooms. so in the end after completing the sec4 and sec3's activities, me anet and ahmah went back to 4i to rest while ling and cheyenne carried on with the sec1 and 2's activities. sheesh. they were uber enthu. me anet and ahmah were just like, tagging along behind and i so didnt want to play cos it made me so sticky and hot.

mr wee caught me for my ear studs. he said that we aint allowed to wear pink studs. go shake ass dude. i didnt even know there was sucha rule :/ its rather stupid cos its not as if my studs could blind everyone. hahaha. that wld be so bloody funny.

so anyway today i tried to control myself and i stopped being so crazy. it feels so bloody depressing that even phebe says to continue being crazy (: school is also getting really depressing by the way. sighs. and i guess the only way to not get so depressed is selfdeception and think that we're the happiest people arnd :DDD yadayadayada. sighs :/ gah.

we went buddy hoagies after school. had my bake potato and icecream waffle and my ulcer hurt like shit. but yea. those two dumb guys can really make people laugh (: however it felt a bit depressing again after that. hahaha :/ ohwells. and me and phebe. i think we really have some mind thing going on for the both of us. cos we kept thinking of the same thing at the same time and then both of us will start bursting out in laughter. then we're also feeling so deprived. so maybe one day we can cry together after laughing together :/ sheesh. i think im talking like a suicidal. ahhhs whatever.

the sports heats is tomorrow. sighs. i dunch have that much confidence in myself cos i dunch exactly run fast and there are soooo many people in phs who run so much bloody faster than me. but since its the last year for me already, who gives a shit. so yeaaaa. see how tomorrow.

i had too much on my mind last night, and i ended up not being able to sleep. so i was on the phone till 1.30. sheesh. so im bloody tired now >:( and the bloody ulcer still hurt.

kays. im off alrdy.

today's the start of the english week. and the briefing was rather boring. but yea, at least we know how to get ourselves high, so we were like screaming and clapping to everything the teacher said. lololols. then theres the activities tomorrow. roaming around the school to answer quizzes and stuffs. rather lame i think. but maybe it will turn out to be fun (:

hmmm and then there was choir after school. then we told mrs wong that we dunch wanna take part in the june concert. but in the end she like, make it sound like its gonna be the last performance we're gonna do for phs and that its gonna be fun and everything, we're having second thoughts about not joining already. so will see how. i guess most probably we'll be joining both the thanksgiving and the june concert.

gah. I HATE THE GREEN GOWN. sheesh. i so dunch feel like joining the thanksgiving concert cos we're supposed to wear that. but i guess no one will like bother about what shitass thing im wearing. so there. i'll join if the rest are joining. sighs. but really. the green gown is fugly.

oh and i realise once i get home, i really become quieter. no craziness. sheesh. sometimes im sick of always being so crazy in school. sick till i'll get kinda dizzy. hurhh. but it just happens. i just get all crazy and high, even if im like feeling bloody down. rahhhhhhs. its irritating cos i get so dizzy sometimes. and. i dunno how to continue. rah whatever.

kays. i wanna watch the new drama serial coming up. it looks nice. hahaha. then perhaps it will help me stop coming online so often already. but then i guess in this way i'll be hogging the tv instead of the comp and theres no diff :/ kays whatever. im off already. and im bloody confused all over again.

i think adults are bloody retarded. yea i know im so gonna be an adult in like, 5 years time and thats not very long. but i think the adults 5years later will NOT be as retarded as the adults now.

perhaps they still think im the black sheep of the family. the bad nut. the one with the stupid temper. the one with the bloody attitude. but HELLO. i was throwing a tantrum cos we were just sitting there wasting our time laaaa. and like, who cares if ive got the highest psle aggregrate among my paternal side cousins but still end up in some so-called the worst class of all the combinations while my cousins get into pure science classes la. i dunch give a fuck okay. its not like im gonna be some stupid retarded toot toot doctor or something. PULEASE.

fine. they never did say anything about my results or anything bad about me (not that ive heard), but ive always feel that they think im like the worst one in the family. plus my fucking attitude just now... maybe they think i'll end up sweeping the floor for a job in future. hahaha. kays not so serious. but yea. i guess im the only one in the family to like, say fuck without slapping myself and goes 'omg omg i just said a vulgar word' o.o" i used to be like that when i was tiny. hahaha. but i never said any bad words just now. but i guess people could feel it was abt to come out of my mouth alrdy. really. the word knn was hanging at the tip of my tongue already. but who cares.

and they should try to understand why i was that pissed off. i wanted to do some maths and do that chinese assesment my sis bought today initially. but my mum didnt tell me that we were supposed to go and pray to my paternal side's grandma, greatgrandma and greatgranddad. so i went along, thinking that it was just gonna be for a teeny weeny while since their tablets are like, just right beside each other. then they started just sitting arnd. yea. so i entertained my teeny weeny cuzzies who think ive got superhuman strength and keep taking turns to jump onto me -.-" okays. theyre lil kids. i dunch mind entertaining em. after that just sat there and stone and stone and stone and i just keep asking my mum what time are we going home. like fuck. we sat there and wasted our time for 2 hours. and when i told my mom that we're just wasting our bloody time there and that we should go home, she was like saying even if we go home IM ALSO GONNA JUST SIT DOWN THERE AND WASTE MY TIME. >:( this turned me off. fuckfuckfuck.

so when we finally reach home at like, 3.30, i went to bed and slept immediately until the idiotpig woke me up at arnd 5.30. sighs. then went for dinner with the family and then started using the comp alrdy. so yea. thats one fucking day wasted. actually im pissed at myself too. i shouldnt let those moronic adults affect me. shitass. then i can study hard and pass my o levels and get into the course i want and get my freaking 500bucks. but nah. i need motivation from my family too, which apparantly, only my sister is providing it. bloodyhell. my mum only knows how to keep saying she dunno what to do with me and my bro. but she should try to understand that shes partly the reason for my bloody behavior >:( they just dunch understand.

maybe i should understand em for not understanding us. hahaha :/

oh and its fuckedup. i realise phebe's right. my mood gets bloody better when the idiotpig calls. hahaha. even though i just take him as a friend. oh anw d was telling me he love me yesterday (cos i comforted him or something like that la) and hahaha. im just like, okays. its fine. i love you too. i said that cos in a way, i think that since hes my bro, im supposed to reply i love ya too bro, even though im not sure if i do. im not exactly very close with him. yea i mean it when i say i love you to the people, those girls (: but maybe not to certain people like d. so i was thinking. really. the three words i love you can be so meaningless sometimes.

sheesh. i digressed so much. i dunch even know why am i talking about i love you. freeeeak. i love 2904 the best la :D but really. the people you love the most might not be the ones who can make you the happiest. hahaha. okays. theres still school tomorrow. SIGHS. luckily theres no POA tmr :D and after recess is kailing's time. hahaha. lubz lubz (x

right. i feel better already. (:

i dont feel like blogging much today and i guess im too tired to say much anyway. hmm but pe rocked yesterday. we did basics and underarm turns. fun, but super giddy (: and zongyang's bbq was bloody fun too :D and today we went for the hollaback thingy hosted by 98.7fm if im not wrong, and 7, leslie's ntu cheering grp thingy got into the finals :D kays. let the pictures do the talking.
















kays. more photos of zy's birthday here (: then the pictures for today (:












sheesh. i dunch feel like posting anymore photos already. hahaha. right. till the next time. (: